if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
FUCK WHALES
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize