Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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