brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
