Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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