His pubic hair was longer than his dick
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
