I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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