It's Friday. Sex?
farters have to be the big spoon...
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
