Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
