Your dad touched me again.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
