is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
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