I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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