I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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