Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize