I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
