HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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