You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize
