Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Im part way to drunk.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Randomize
