So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
