we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
