No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
