im gay
i know
yea but for you.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
