Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
