dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
