I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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