Fine. I'll sleep in my office
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
