Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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