some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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