O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
