Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize