Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
babies were throwing up all over the place
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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