Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
