your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
