# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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