it wasn't lemon gatorade
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize