I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
