Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
