If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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