Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Dicks are not precious.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
