when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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