So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Randomize
