you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
