Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Found your dick twin last night
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
