How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
oh god was she eating orange peels again
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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