He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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