super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
