The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
