Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
