physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize