My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
