Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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