Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
