So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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