So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
