she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I'm sobbing to NWA
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Randomize
