listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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