Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
