Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize