I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
