I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize