Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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