No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
