I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize