I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize